A Pilgrim Age

A Pilgrim Age

By Katrina A. Holigores
Inquirer

Last updated 03:37pm (Mla time) 09/28/2007
MANILA, Philippines—We have just zipped through another month. Not a great believer in coincidences, I find it ironic that as we focus on speed this weekend I have just passed through the slow, sleepy town of Assisi in Italy, and have, over the last two weeks, been inside over a dozen churches. Being a flexible Catholic, I can appreciate certain aspects of the religion that I was born into but remain clueless (by choice) of many others. One tradition (no idea of the source) that I grew up with was the wish-making associated when entering a church for the first time. There are many versions of this ritual; some say you make one wish, and some say three. Suffice to say, the latter quantity is what I opted for each and every time I found myself in front of the nth altar for the day.

During this quasi pilgrimage I had a chance to observe my companions and a thousand strangers entering and exiting each of these historic and significant houses of worship. There were those of course who went in as it was part of the tour they had spent X amount of Euros on. There were the local tourists who entered and, depending on the level of their faith, opted to sit down, say a prayer, or just take a photo (no flash) and then make their way back outside. For me, the visits were a combination of both, a chance to digitally document some masterpieces in art and architecture and also, on a more personal note, to slow down, take a break and indulge in the solemnity and sheer energy of a space that has housed over a million prayers and represented a steady vestibule of hope.

Like a Prayer

To have faith is to believe, without a shadow of a doubt, in an intangible happy ever after. Wishes, like prayers, are said when nothing else in the physical world can help you so you throw your heart’s desire out into the wide open flux of the divine. Wish granted? Some people ask for a sign, while some are content with the knowledge that someone or something out there has already heard and all they have to do is believe.

Faith is a funny, albeit powerful emotion. In my case, it has certainly lifted me over some of the more challenging potholes in my existence even if I have never subscribed to the more rigid norms that govern believing in God or a higher entity. The wishes that I’ve said in silence I know have been jotted down and one day I will come to realize if they have indeed been granted. Of course, the “wait” or as a very wise friend of mine pointed out the incorrigible “in-between” stage is the hardest part, and this again is where putting your trust in the unknown (but still knowing—if that makes any sense at all) has to come into play.

I Saw the Sign

So, how do we trust? Just saying to think positive sounds as shallow as the almost casual way people use soul searching nowadays. “Letting go” is a phrase that makes sense but isn’t easy to do, we revert back to old habits in order to find reassurance or affirmation that what we want we will get, and ASAP. Be patient? Try watching paint dry and you will see how easy that is especially when you are thoroughly convinced that your life will be so much better once wish 1-1000 is delivered to your doorstep.

Perhaps the best thing we can all do, in the time it takes from realizing what we want and actually getting it, is to grow up. To fully accept (with no sarcasm and rolling of eyes) that everything does happen for a reason and that the sooner we find out what that reason is we can better discern what to really wish. To put into full and utter belief that an omnipotent Santa Claus is making his or her list (and that we are on it) is the best we can hope for.

As I light another candle in one of the last churches of my trip, I look up and make my wishes and see sunlight slowly spreading across the ceiling and frescos. I feel like I’ve just received a knowing smirk from up above. Believe it or not.